this list is subject to change as new characters enter the story line, they may be new, or from the past. so this list will accurately be updated with the description of any other character. if some characters have yet to be mentioned, rest assure, they will be soon.. or they are on this list because they belong to an intricate unraveling part of the past that will be communicated to you in do time.
Mariah - hypocritical hysterical peaceful humanist
Elle - milti-facetic twisted-sadist
Mike - do gooder short tempered moody
Rick - resilient insightful neurotic
Fred - free out-spoken argumentative
Carly - naive smart possesive security-junkie
Joshua - intricate complex cameleon
Betsy - the slutty "creative-wannabe"
Taylor - curious giving and loving
Orion - hippie free treelover
Maurice - hangs on to the past, boundary tester
2010
p.s. (there is no actual real meaning or motive for the seahorse picture, i just liked it :P)
today is thanksgiving..
well.. today is thanksgiving. most have mixed up feelings about celebrating, claiming to be more patriotic than Juan Pablo Duarte (one of our forefathers); but i personally think that from all the stupid crap we have copied off other cultures (including constitutions), we could do worst than Thanksgiving. I personally like it, its a day where everyone plays nice and gets together, tries to be civil, and have a nice time. And, whether you believe in it or not, you just cant help at some point of the day wonder: "what am i thankful for?"
my family doesn't celebrate thanksgiving. i've only had 2 thanksgiving dinner experiences, and its been with the same family. the 1st time was kind of odd, because i didnt know ANYONE except the person that took me, and it was his family.. so it was really quite ackward. the 2nd time, was actually last yr, and it was so different.. everyone knew me, and i felt completely at ease. i thought it was the 2nd of many thanksgivings more to come. as usual.. life doesn't quite turn out the way you plan it.
i really have an obsession that i must confess. im obsessed with time, especially with that i was doing at this precise time a yr ago. this is why i keep agendas or maybe "actitivy journals" so i can go back and know what was going on. last yr at this time i was in class, in a rough patch with my current boyfriend and it happened to be our 7th month anniversary. nonetheless, i was invited to thanksgiving dinner.
this year, i'm home, already graduated, not with that person anymore.. and thankful for a WHOLE lot of stuff i wasn't last year. i graduated, i've developed a better relationship with my family and myself. i'm tired to the bones, but because tomorrow i can proudly say, i've been going to the gym for 1 month now. so things are a LOT different than they were last year. last year i was obsessed with that would happen, the future.. what was to come.now im obsessed with what was, and if im doing it better.. and im glad to see and say that i am. i smile a lot more, i value things a lot more, im not as dark and twisted anymore. im starting to enjoy life and its simple minimal trivial pleasures.
most of all IM THANKFUL for my parents. my parents are kick ass! actually. i was very saddened by a conversation i had today with my best friend. she has issues with her dad, and i know that she is in the right, she has motives. although she tried to explain her reasons, i could understand, but it was *impossible* for me to accept; and that made me realize, that i will never understand. why? you may ask. i will never understand because my dad is an incredible dad, he has ALWAYS been there for me for everything, he's never bailed, he's never 'not cared'. im glad i have parents that are SO great that i just take them for granted.
and at times like these, when you become an ear to other people's issues you realize that you imperfect little world is a lot more perfect that you'd thought.
my plan for today is to go to my best friend's house, order in and watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice (my guilty pleasures). if it follows through, and we can do it; it will be a GREAT thanksgiving. im really thankful for my best friend as well, she's just awesome. life hasn't quite dealt her an easy hand, but she always finds a way, and there's just something about her that makes you feel at ease. i love her so much, we've been through so much together.. i really dont know what i'd do without her. she is one of the most important people in my life, and i just know that it will remain that way forever.
i hope that for tonight everyone can see the glass half full, and just have a good time with your loved ones.
6:53 pm
my family doesn't celebrate thanksgiving. i've only had 2 thanksgiving dinner experiences, and its been with the same family. the 1st time was kind of odd, because i didnt know ANYONE except the person that took me, and it was his family.. so it was really quite ackward. the 2nd time, was actually last yr, and it was so different.. everyone knew me, and i felt completely at ease. i thought it was the 2nd of many thanksgivings more to come. as usual.. life doesn't quite turn out the way you plan it.
i really have an obsession that i must confess. im obsessed with time, especially with that i was doing at this precise time a yr ago. this is why i keep agendas or maybe "actitivy journals" so i can go back and know what was going on. last yr at this time i was in class, in a rough patch with my current boyfriend and it happened to be our 7th month anniversary. nonetheless, i was invited to thanksgiving dinner.
this year, i'm home, already graduated, not with that person anymore.. and thankful for a WHOLE lot of stuff i wasn't last year. i graduated, i've developed a better relationship with my family and myself. i'm tired to the bones, but because tomorrow i can proudly say, i've been going to the gym for 1 month now. so things are a LOT different than they were last year. last year i was obsessed with that would happen, the future.. what was to come.now im obsessed with what was, and if im doing it better.. and im glad to see and say that i am. i smile a lot more, i value things a lot more, im not as dark and twisted anymore. im starting to enjoy life and its simple minimal trivial pleasures.
i miss him sometimes.. like days like these, but i guess that's normal.. and with time will begin to fade.
most of all IM THANKFUL for my parents. my parents are kick ass! actually. i was very saddened by a conversation i had today with my best friend. she has issues with her dad, and i know that she is in the right, she has motives. although she tried to explain her reasons, i could understand, but it was *impossible* for me to accept; and that made me realize, that i will never understand. why? you may ask. i will never understand because my dad is an incredible dad, he has ALWAYS been there for me for everything, he's never bailed, he's never 'not cared'. im glad i have parents that are SO great that i just take them for granted.
and at times like these, when you become an ear to other people's issues you realize that you imperfect little world is a lot more perfect that you'd thought.
my plan for today is to go to my best friend's house, order in and watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice (my guilty pleasures). if it follows through, and we can do it; it will be a GREAT thanksgiving. im really thankful for my best friend as well, she's just awesome. life hasn't quite dealt her an easy hand, but she always finds a way, and there's just something about her that makes you feel at ease. i love her so much, we've been through so much together.. i really dont know what i'd do without her. she is one of the most important people in my life, and i just know that it will remain that way forever.
i hope that for tonight everyone can see the glass half full, and just have a good time with your loved ones.
6:53 pm
the smell of your skin lingers on me now.
the truth is that anywhere i go, i find myself looking over my shoulder for you.. i fear a casual encounter, but i long for it at the same time. i wonder what we'll do, how we'll react.. i fear my heart will skip a beat.
and it's always when the day breaks.. when the clock begins to count the first a.m. hours of the day that i catch it.. the subtle, sweet, intoxicating tattoo of your smell on my skin.
and it's always when the day breaks.. when the clock begins to count the first a.m. hours of the day that i catch it.. the subtle, sweet, intoxicating tattoo of your smell on my skin.
unrecognize*unlearn
i haven't really written anything in a good long while.. but i think i just might start again. i'm a different *me* now.. that feels a bit bewildered at the *old me* and the posts that person used to make.. or maybe i'm just fooling myself. i'll have to just post and see..
december 23rd
today is december 23rd and i've been thinking about you since yesterday. so much has happened in these last few days, so many things i would of liked to share with you.
i would of liked to see the look on your face, when i told you that your granddaughter was an engineer.. or make pictures in my mind of what it would feel like on graduation day, to know that you were sitting in the audience feeling proud of me.
i blocked this day out last year, and jumped from 22nd to 24th of december, but this year i cant. and i miss you.. just knowing that you're there, that you exist. and i just realized right now why i chose the career i chose, and why i like the things that i like.. because of you.
ever since i was little i admired how you could find the sense in everything, and make anything and everything work. how you could build anything. and i wanted to be just like you. i wanted to draw amazing plants, know how to design tools.. and most importantly, i've always worked to be someone that others look up to and respect; and that's what you were to me.
so many things that i've learned in books, that i would pay any price to practice with you.. and cant. i miss you more than i know, because at any random moment i'll think of you, and not be able to hold back everything that it makes me feel.. like right now.
i remember how your house would be filled with people on your big birthday parties, how everyone attended, no one ever missed it. you were always surrounded by hundreds of people that feel love, admiration and warmth towards you.
now i know that i always wanted to be just like you, im on the right track for some things.. but what i would give for your pats on the back, and with no words assuring me that what i am doing is right.
i would of liked to see the look on your face, when i told you that your granddaughter was an engineer.. or make pictures in my mind of what it would feel like on graduation day, to know that you were sitting in the audience feeling proud of me.
i blocked this day out last year, and jumped from 22nd to 24th of december, but this year i cant. and i miss you.. just knowing that you're there, that you exist. and i just realized right now why i chose the career i chose, and why i like the things that i like.. because of you.
ever since i was little i admired how you could find the sense in everything, and make anything and everything work. how you could build anything. and i wanted to be just like you. i wanted to draw amazing plants, know how to design tools.. and most importantly, i've always worked to be someone that others look up to and respect; and that's what you were to me.
so many things that i've learned in books, that i would pay any price to practice with you.. and cant. i miss you more than i know, because at any random moment i'll think of you, and not be able to hold back everything that it makes me feel.. like right now.
i remember how your house would be filled with people on your big birthday parties, how everyone attended, no one ever missed it. you were always surrounded by hundreds of people that feel love, admiration and warmth towards you.
now i know that i always wanted to be just like you, im on the right track for some things.. but what i would give for your pats on the back, and with no words assuring me that what i am doing is right.
i realize.
i realized how much i love you when i learned that i would never make you do something just because i wanted you to. i realized i love you when i saw that in my options wasn't moving on. i realized how much i love you when everything that happens isn't as interesting if i can't share it with you. i realize how much i love you when i think that no holiday will be as special if i don't share it with you. i realize how much i love you when i miss the way you talk, breathe, laugh, think, sleep, look, smell, feel, a r e.
newskin
newskin